Love Your Parents

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Chartres, France 2014

Love Your Parents. We are so busy growing up, we often forget they are also growing old.

I have this little soreness in my heart every time I see an old couple together, I envy them and wish upon my self that I can be like them, together till we are old and wrinkly. But also at the same time remembering my parents, how far I am from them and not being able to just be there for them more often. Time is indeed precious, spend as much time as you can with them, give them attention as we tend to caught up with our own little world.

Bookworm Heaven in Paris

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Hello fellow bookworm! I know I have been MIA for a while and I just love the fact that my good blogger friend Pang reminded me that I need to get this blog going again! Thank you Pang for the friendly reminder and I  miss you too btw!

So anyway back to topic, I love to read and even though I have my kindle, I still love to buy books especially second-hand books. There are a few second-hand english book store here in Paris, so here’s one which is quite interesting. I love that they have a variety of genre and it’s just around the corner from Luxembourg garden, a perfect place to read. You can also sell your books here too if you want! I find the old gentleman in the shop quite interesting even though he didn’t talk much, he looks like he has amazing life stories and experiences, I think he might be one of the owner. I wish I could have tea and have a chat with him and exchange stories about living in Paris, that would be awesome right… But anyway I would go back browse for the next book to read.

If you need more information here the link to their website! Support your local bookshop if you can because they are disappearing day by day!

Happy Reading everyone!!

Pick your battles right!

I just wanted to share my thoughts in living ecological friendly not just for the environment but for my body. So I have been avoid any harsh chemicals in any of the products I used for the home and my body. It is hard to find the right products but you will get it right through trial and error. Food wise, I tried as much as I could with organic option. However having said that sometimes we need to rely on modern science and technology here’s why:

Well the thing is I have been sick with a bad cold for around 3 weeks, and only resorting to herbal remedies, like natural antibiotics such as garlic and ginger. Drinking lot of water and doing Bikram yoga to get rid of the toxins. It kinda works until 2 days ago I started getting severe headache and earache. So it was my time to surrender and see the doctor, I know he will give me antibiotics, which I try to avoid but at this stage I just need to get better coz I am flying out for a 13 hours flight next week. So I better be healthy by then. Antibiotic was my saviour because after 1 pill my headache was not as bad.

I realise through my experience, that no matter how much you try to be natural and organic, avoiding chemicals; doctors invented modern medicine for a reason, we can’t always rely on herbal medicines. That’s why our generation live longer than before, because we have the science to help us get healthier when we are sick. I think we just need to pick our battles and not go to the extreme. Even beauty and home products, as much as you try to find the most natural way, you will find somehow chemicals in it. I am still learning to find the right mix and products. However now I will pick my battles right because we live in a different world compare to before. Yes we will try to be chemical free but there is no guarantee in life, even labels can lie too!

So what are your thoughts?

Acceptance: Moving Forward

I have been busy this couple of weeks and to be honest I don’t even know with what, apart from the usual stuff like yoga, writing and cleaning the house. Oh and of course having a few friends visiting Paris and accompanying them around, I have no other major commitment and yet I feel like I don’t have enough time in the day to accomplished what I want to do, hence abandoning my blog and baking oops! But having said that I’ve started enjoying my time here.

The keyword is acceptance, accepting that now I am here and this is my new life, and things get to start to flow better. It took me 6 months of resistance with a little bit of bitterness dealing with the new changes living in Paris. Resisting with the new language, administration, feeling sorry for myself not having a job and etc. But all these negative feeling and focusing on them made me feel worse and bitter all the time. So after a long deep search emotionally, reading self-help books and talking to my friends over and over again, finally I decided for myself I can’t put myself in this negative world that I’ve created for myself and move on.

Acceptance was the key to moving forward without it no matter how hard you try to be positive, the lack of acceptance of your current situation will drag you back down to those negative feelings that you have. Without the acceptance you will still compare yourself with the ‘what if’ I was in another situations. The reality is that this is my current situation there is no ‘what if and should have been’ and accepting the situation means I can focus on the positive things with my current situations.

The last few days has been wonderful, I feel like  a big weight has been lifted from my shoulder and more relax. I can focus more on my goals that I want to achieve while I am here and making the most of my time here. I even bought a book on how to improve my french grammar, which I wouldn’t even think of before as I was hating learning french. I just want to share this because I finally realise the power of acceptance, embrace it, a step to moving forward and focusing for what you would want to achieve. So whenever you are in a situation that you don’t like or a difficult situation, accept it and focus on how to move forward rather than dwell in it for too long. It’s not an easy process it took me 6 months to get to this point but it better than being stuck, bitter and feeling bad all the time right. Don’t push yourself if it’s going to take 6 months or 8 months to finally understand and accept the situation you’re in, everyone has their own time to process things, but the quicker it is the better it is for your mental and physical health right?

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Wishing you all a very good weekend!

Beauty Wishlist

Beauty Wishlist

I need to stock up on some skincare and beauty products, ok my bad maybe only skincare but I am currently in love with The Balm products so I want to get some more!! Oh girls and their makeup (guilty)! Can’t wait till my online shopping arrive!!

What is your favourite beauty or skincare products?

What Makes Me Happy?

tumblr_m762pwLNrm1rq1wr5o1_500I have been asking this to my self lately, I know I should be grateful to get a chance to live in this beautiful city but somehow things hasn’t been that great. I just feel a bit stuck at the moment. I have my good days and bad days, but when the bad days come I kept thinking to myself that I should focus on things that makes me HAPPY right?

So every time I sit in the Metro, I ask myself ‘what makes me happy?’ and thought it’s actually a difficult questions. Yes you can say things like going shopping, eating yummy food or chatting with friends but those are temporary happiness. I am happy at that moment but then I feel empty again after that moment has passed. Sometimes I feel I am not being grateful enough, maybe something is wrong with me. I try to think positively but these days its seems harder for that thought to stick. I even do my happy mantra while doing yoga, trying to send to my subconscious mind ‘be happy’ but it doesn’t work I get irritated and grumpy over small tiny matter.

Until now I am still thinking what can I do to make myself happy, because happiness comes from yourself not other people nor your surrounding. I think having all this free time to think put me into my Othoskepsis mode, I even write about it once before if you want to read it. I am aware that right now I’m in the phase of big change and accepting those changes, which can be a little difficult. But I never thought it would be this hard, as normally I am very adaptable and flexible with my surroundings. I think I just need to focus on things I want to do in life, and yet I feel so lost as I don’t know where to start. I have a clean slate, an empty book and I can do what ever I want with it but that makes it even harder to begin, no sense of directions.

Having said that I am grateful to have very supportive husband who let me do what ever I want to make me happy, friends and family who listen through my rants about stupid things but believed in me that I am going to shine with whatever I want to do. So right now I am still confused with what I want to do, hopefully the light comes soon! For now I am going to have positive thoughts and chant my mantra till that sudden burst of shiny moment pops into my head.  As the quote says I need to find something I want to do and make sure that it makes me happy!

What makes you truly happy?

Experimental Thursday: Avocado Chocolate Marble Cake

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I was inspired by Gooseberry and Avocado Loaf Cake Recipe by Bunnykitchen.com, thank you Poppy for the inspiration and has been dying to try out making cake with avocado.

So here I’ve decided to make an Avocado Chocolate Marble Cake. It turned out pretty good, a little dense (will need to tweak the recipe a little bit) but has a nice subtle avocado taste to it. Why with chocolate? Because back in Indonesia, we have a dessert drink made from avocado, condense milk and chocolate syrup, just like a smoothie and its somehow all complements each other. So I thought why not in a cake, minus the condense milk part…

If you want to try it at home here’s the recipe:

1 1/2 cup of all purpose flour
1 egg
120 ml of light cream
100 g of melted butter
100 g of melted chocolate
2.5 teaspoons of baking powder
3/4 cup of sugar (I think you can get away with 1/2 a cup if you want it less sweet)
1 ripe avocado

Wet Ingredients:
Blend using a food processor one avocado, egg, melted butter and light cream put it aside.

In another bowl combine flour, sugar and baking powder and mix it together. Pour in the wet ingredients and combine it gently, try not to overwork the mixture. Then Take half of the batter in another bowl and mixed in the melted chocolate.

In loaf thin, to get the marble effect, you just need to layer green batter then chocolate batter when its all done, get a stick and swirl it around to create the marble effect.

Baked in a preheat 180C oven for 45-50 minutes, use a stick to check whether its ready, if the stick come out clean then your cake is ready!

Leave it out to cool down et voila, a nice afternoon tea cake is ready!

Self Reflections

Today is my 2nd year wedding anniversary, it has been a roller coaster journey through ups and down; from visa issues (twice; French and British), living separately in the England; I was in London he was in Swindon (2 hours journey) and now moving to his hometown, Paris. We had some happy times too off course, travelling a lot for the last 2 years, goofy moments and now finally living together under the same roof (phew! after 6 years together). I am grateful that we managed to overcome all the drama in our life and wishing that we will grow together as a couple.

The self reflections are the things I wanted to improve on myself to be a better wife and person, and to be a reminder to myself there is always room for improvement. A little pledge to make my relationship with my husband better.

The biggest challenge  for me is not to take things personally, I can be overly sensitive at times and take things to heart and make small matter into a gigantic matter. This is normally the start of our little ‘sparks’. I have to admit most of the time the start is because of a misunderstanding of what is being said and over simple matter. I need to let go of the little things and stop taking things too personally as if it’s a personal attack on me (which I felt most of the time) even thought after we talked about it later on, it’s not rather it was mostly my insecurities. I have issues in always wanting to please people and also having the support of my loved ones, so when he has different opinions than mine, i felt unsupported, which shouldn’t be the case. As I know everyone has their own opinion right! But I am too stubborn in someway (the other biggest change I need to improve on) to accept that. I do understand sometimes there are also some cultural differences on interpretation and the way things are said, which I also need to be more understanding and not take it too literally (which is hard as I am an over-thinker)

My pledge to myself:

1. Stop taking things to personally.

2. Stop over-thinking, because it makes yourself agitated even more

3. Accept that I cannot please everyone and agree with everyone.

4. Take a time-out if I felt I am too emotionally upset and will say things that might be hurtful.

Hopefully by doing these little changes, I would take things easier and have a better relationship with my lovely hubby, because he deserve it after being so patients with me, dealing with my craziness and grumpy moments!

Happy 2nd year Anniversary baby, I love you and thank you for always being there for me no matter how annoying I can be sometimes!

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