I have been asking this to my self lately, I know I should be grateful to get a chance to live in this beautiful city but somehow things hasn’t been that great. I just feel a bit stuck at the moment. I have my good days and bad days, but when the bad days come I kept thinking to myself that I should focus on things that makes me HAPPY right?
So every time I sit in the Metro, I ask myself ‘what makes me happy?’ and thought it’s actually a difficult questions. Yes you can say things like going shopping, eating yummy food or chatting with friends but those are temporary happiness. I am happy at that moment but then I feel empty again after that moment has passed. Sometimes I feel I am not being grateful enough, maybe something is wrong with me. I try to think positively but these days its seems harder for that thought to stick. I even do my happy mantra while doing yoga, trying to send to my subconscious mind ‘be happy’ but it doesn’t work I get irritated and grumpy over small tiny matter.
Until now I am still thinking what can I do to make myself happy, because happiness comes from yourself not other people nor your surrounding. I think having all this free time to think put me into my Othoskepsis mode, I even write about it once before if you want to read it. I am aware that right now I’m in the phase of big change and accepting those changes, which can be a little difficult. But I never thought it would be this hard, as normally I am very adaptable and flexible with my surroundings. I think I just need to focus on things I want to do in life, and yet I feel so lost as I don’t know where to start. I have a clean slate, an empty book and I can do what ever I want with it but that makes it even harder to begin, no sense of directions.
Having said that I am grateful to have very supportive husband who let me do what ever I want to make me happy, friends and family who listen through my rants about stupid things but believed in me that I am going to shine with whatever I want to do. So right now I am still confused with what I want to do, hopefully the light comes soon! For now I am going to have positive thoughts and chant my mantra till that sudden burst of shiny moment pops into my head. As the quote says I need to find something I want to do and make sure that it makes me happy!
What makes you truly happy?